For 15 years, my week has focused on my patients–men, women, and couples. About half have sexual difficulties, such as problems with erection, orgasm, lubrication, scary fantasies, desire (too low, too high, or too unusual), painful sex (both women and men), affairs (their own or their partner’s), or internet pornography.
The other half of my patients bring in the rest of humanity’s woes—problems with kids, in-laws, money, drinking, and that all-purpose description, “communication problems.”
My style as a therapist is extremely flexible, because every patient is different. Some need information; some need compassion; some need wisdom; some need tough love; some need a little teasing to lighten them up; some need to take their own needs more seriously; and some people just need help growing up. Everyone wants to feel special. And while people say that what they most want from sex is pleasure and closeness, they often focus on other things–how they look, smell, and sound; what their penis or vulva is doing (rather than how it feels); and how they imagine they compare to other men or other women in bed. Absolutely none of that gives people the nourishment they want from sex.
You’ll feel understood. You’ll experience a relationship with someone who isn’t judging you, blaming you, or trying to get something from you. If you and your partner come in as a couple, you’ll discuss things you haven’t been able to discuss yourselves, in ways that don’t trigger destructive conflict. And you’ll learn how to disagree productively, so you can make decisions together and actually settle disagreements yourselves.
If the subject is sex, we’ll mostly talk about your sexual ideas–and by shaping those, your sexual activity will become much more satisfying. If the subject isn’t sex, we’ll talk about your life in a way that’s creative and helpful. The goal of therapy, after all, is to be done with therapy.
While I work with most of my patients in a lovely downtown office, I also work with people by Skype. After just a few minutes, we get accustomed to each other’s rhythms, and all the familiar aspects of therapy blossom: our connection, the intimacy, the humor, and if you’re a little shy, the shyness, too. We work out our Skype relationship exactly the same way we’d work out our in–person relationship. And with Skype we have more flexibility about the timing and length of sessions. Payment by PayPal is easy and dependable.
These few lines may give you a tiny bit on information about how I may start the work with a client, please note that every client is a unique individual and every one is approached differently.
I don’t take sides (Family; Couples).
I always do a differential diagnosis.
I don’t depend on common cultural myths.
I don’t get involved with what’s “normal.”
My goal in therapy is to empower clients to know their values and to act on them with integrity.
I will reflect and teach you how to recognize hidden, long ignored emotions, such as life events that you never thought were impacting you today (for example), within the process you can allow yourself to learn how to deal with various states that cover fear, anger, confusion, sadness, anxiety, panic, restlessness, and many other complex feelings.
I will look at your position and emotional involvement within your family system and help you have insights of unconscious decision making or unconscious unresolved relationships.
I also make sure to assess for emotional, environmental, medical, and historical issues before I treat a problem.
Hope this information is helpful.
If you’re interested, just write me at LegacDenisa@gmail.com. You’ll hear back from me within 36 hours, usually less.